I love my family, and I love being a mother more than I could have ever imagined. It's times like this when Mr B is away (which is sadly just one of the aspects of his job) that I really take stock and think about how much I appreciate everything that I have.
When I was younger I never pictured myself as a mother. Always at the back of my mind I thought 'perhaps one day', but I never had a clear idea of when that might be. When I held my daughter for the first time, it was in fact the first time I'd ever held a baby. Some mothers say that when they see their newborn it's love at first sight, others say it takes a little longer - for me it was somewhere in between. I loved her straight away, but then I continued to love her more and more each day as her beautiful little personality developed.
I was adopted at birth - I'd be lying if I said that this hasn't changed my ideas about the kind of mother I wanted to be. I was extremely lucky, I grew up with a wonderful mother, father and brother. I also met the woman that gave birth to me, to be honest it wasn't a terribly positive experience - however it taught me just how valuable family, love and securely bonded relationships are. I'd also be lying if I said that the night after I gave birth to my daughter, whilst lying in my hospital bed and looking on in wonder at my beautiful child sleeping imagining taking her home - I didn't think about the fact that after my own birth I was left in the hospital by myself. I'd never let this define me, it has just made me really determined to be the best mother I can be and I have all the inspiration I need from my own mom - a truly wonderful woman.
I'm also thankful every day to have Mr B in my life. He came along at a time when I least expected it, I really wasn't looking to meet anybody - but he stole my heart. I'm really honored and excited that in just 4 short weeks I'll be his wife. We already have our wonderful daughter together, but this will just complete things. I have to say I was never the kind of little girl who dreamed of my wedding day or a big white dress - instead I choose to dream about finding somebody who would love me and accept me for being nothing but completely and utterly me. I never really thought it was possible until he came along.
I think it's so important to be thankful for the things you have. I am in no way religious, but when I was a little girl my mum marked out this passage in a bible I was given for my christening. I think it sums things up beautifully.
"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" - Corinthians 13